Then when I heard about this trip I thought, "Oh, that would be neat, but it would never work out. I'll apply for it, but I doubt I'll get accepted to go." But God opened the door and a few days later I got the letter saying I was apart of the team. I was thrilled. I didn't quite know what it all meant yet, but I was excited.
I again got discouraged when I realized how much money it would cost to go. I didn't have a job. I wasn't good at fundraising. Even if I was, how in the world would I get that much money in just a couple months? I thought that maybe this really wasn't something I was meant to do. But once again God provided. In just a few months people generously gave their prayers and financial support to something neither they or I could see yet. I was absolutely baffled.
We were ready to go. Everything was set and it was only a couple weeks until the trip. I was scared out of my mind! I was right back where I started with the control thing. I knew that God had provided for me with this trip, but I couldn't handle not knowing what was going to happen when we got there. All the information I got about the trip somehow made me even more nervous. I prayed to God that it would all work out, but I still wouldn't fully let go of it.
We got to the airport bright and early Tuesday morning. I was so nervous I thought I was going to be sick. I kept reminding myself of all the times God had provided over the past year, but my stomach was still twisted. I said goodbye to my parents and got on the plane. The second the plane left the ground I was overwhelmed with peace. I still had the same knowledge I had weeks before and yet none of it mattered now. This week was going to be amazing and God-filled.
The week was more incredible than I could have ever imagined! Never was there a time that I was worried, nervous, or unsure. God was so evident that week. I look back at all I had gone through with Him in the past year and can't even fathom why I doubted Him or any of this in the first place. I was meant to be there that week. We all were. God had such amazing plans for us. I know we helped the people we met that week, but they and God did so much more to us. I will never be the same after this experience, because it wasn't just the week that impacted me. It was getting there, being there, and being able to tell people how God worked in my life.
God answered a lot of my questions that week. I do have a calling to be a missionary. Where and how I still don't know, but I'm finally ok with that. :-)
