A fresh start.

So, I realized tonight that I still had this blog. I think I may make a new attempt at writing things every so often. Tonight just seems like the perfect night to do it.

I finished my first year of college today. People have asked me constantly,

"Are you glad to be done?"

"Did you have a good year?"

The simple and polite reply: "Yes."

My honest opinion? It was good. It wasn't awesome, and nothing I could have changed would have made it better. A little depressing, I know, but I realized something. I tried so hard to get through this year all by myself. I wanted to stand on my own two feet. I wanted independence. Not just from my parents or home, but from God. I thought, "You know God, you've done great so far, but I think I can handle it from here." Ok, I didn't actually think that, but my actions towards my spiritual life certainly showed it.

I never thought that it was possible to become complacent in your relationship with God once you had truly committed to Him. I never thought I'd even be capable of not wanting more of Him, much less fall away from Him. I didn't even notice until I took a step back and examined my relationship with Him. We had such a good relationship. I don't remember letting it fall apart.

I hate the idea of starting over, but maybe it's what I need. I need to re-enter my relationship with God. A fresh start.